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The 40-Year-Old Virgin was Judd Apatow's directorial debut. While serving as a producer for the 2004 film Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy, he got the idea to have a film with Carell in the lead role after watching his performance in that, thinking "It would be great to see a Steve Carell movie". Apatow later asked him whether he had any movie ideas, and both men wrote The 40-Year-Old Virgin together after the latter expressed desires to make something about a virgin who was aged 40,[7] basing it off a sketch Carell created while performing with the improv comedy troupe The Second City. Carell did many versions of the sketch, trying out different scenarios where the 40-year-old man is hiding a "big secret."[1][8] Apatow had difficulty coming up with the ending for the film. Garry Shandling suggested it was important to show that Andy was having better sex because he was in love, and instead of directly showing the sex they decided to have Andy sing and have a musical number.[9]


GROSS: Could we just get briefly back to your 13-year-old self? Why did you decide to write that story? Did you want to be discovered? Did you want somebody to say to you, oh, my God, you were violated? We have to do something about this. You should have been protected. This man and this woman who violated you, they need to be punished. They need to be prevented from doing it to another girl.


FOX: Most of all, you should be a stay-at-home mom. And from very young - also, frankly, secretly pushed by my mom - I never wanted that. I wanted to be somebody, and I wanted to do something out of the box. I think, when I was a kid, I wanted to be an archaeologist. And then I wanted to travel and write. And I wanted to be a lawyer. Anyhow, here were people that were saying the box is no good. And I already knew the box was no good. You know, marriage, homemaking looked terrible to me. So they were confirming what I already knew. And I know, as an adult, people are saying, well, how could a 13-year-old feel like that? We forget how smart we are when kids - as kids. So here I was. They were telling me of a world that I wanted and believed in. The structures are bad. It was 1973. Marriage is bad.


GROSS: This is FRESH AIR. And if you're just joining us, my guest is Jennifer Fox. She wrote and directed an HBO movie called "The Tale." She describes it as a fictional memoir. It's based on the story of her life when she was 13 and she was sexually abused by her running coach and her riding coach. But the movie goes back and forth in time between the 13-year-old version of herself and the 40-something version of herself played by Laura Dern and how the 40-something version of herself has to keep rethinking, what does the story mean? Are my memories accurate? And the film is nominated for a couple of Emmys - outstanding TV movie. And Laura Dern is nominated for best actress in a leading role.


FOX: You know, it's funny. I've been asked that before. And I think, as adults, we think always anything like this is a cry for help. But honestly, when I dig into my own self and go back, I think that I was doing what I've done all my life in using storytelling to try to make sense of something I didn't understand. I don't think I wanted the adults to find out. Frankly, I was terrified that the adults who I saw as bumbling and people that would make messes of things would actually find out about this and force me to do something that I didn't want to do.


FOX: Punished - no. I always knew I first would be believed. But I thought I would be made to be a victim and would be psychoanalyzed, whatever. And I knew that the adults would get it wrong. I can't really articulate it more than that. But adults come in with these big boots thinking they're going to fix something, and they make a mess, even more so in 1973.


FOX: Not overtly in that way. It was implicit. It was all implicit. I don't think it's in the film, but when the real Mrs. G brought me to him the first time, she was like - you know, she asked me - I think she said something like, you know, Bill would like to spend nights with you or - not nights, but have you overnight. He would like to have time with you like I have time with you. He thinks it's not fair that I get all the time with you. But you know we can't tell your parents. Actually, that is in the film. And you know we can't tell Dr. G that you are - I'm taking you to Bill. And I got that. You know, those adults were always not to be trusted - my parents, the teachers - so...


GROSS: This is FRESH AIR, and if you're just joining us, my guest is Jennifer Fox. She wrote and directed an HBO movie called "The Tale." She describes it as a fictional memoir. It's based on the story of her life when she was 13, and she was sexually abused by her running coach and her riding coach. But the movie goes back and forth in time between the 13-year-old version of herself and the 40-something version of herself played by Laura Dern. The film is nominated for a couple of Emmys - outstanding TV movie and Laura Dern is nominated for best actress in a leading role.


FOX: I think that something you said to me when we walked in off radio, which is beautiful, which is it's so amazing that we never talk about how a child can love his or her abuser. And that's a piece of the story that has not been included in any of the tellings. And if we don't understand that, we don't understand how abuse happens because what happens and why it isn't rape - although legally it is - why we call it child sexual abuse is that there is a slow manipulation into the child's world by the adult in which the adult is showering love and attention on the child and making them feel special. And that's why it's often - if you talk to any prosecutor - hard for children to prosecute their abusers because they feel so - such a complicated feeling of love and appreciation and respect. And often that person may seem to the child to be the only adult that loves them.


FOX: The camera is way back on a long lens. I'm sort of off-the-camera eye. And we had rehearsed just totally nonsexual cues, like act like a bee stung you. Act like you're being chased by a dog. And, you know, act like you're eating something sour. And she was just rolling through expressions in a close up - a medium close up. And then we cut that with shots of Jason Ritter with a body-double working with an adult. And so she never was involved in anything sexual, one. Even the words Jason Ritter says to her as Bill were never said to her on set because the words, as we know, are quite horrific. So he only says those to the body double. He made up something very, you know, innocuous to say to her. Now, again, she's not stupid. She knows what the film's about. But, in fact, on set, she's very taken care of.


GROSS: So I want to mention something you said to me off mic, and you said it's strange for you now to have become kind of a poster girl for child abuse when you'd never thought of yourself as being abused when it was actually happening. Tell me more. 041b061a72


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